The Things You Don’t Expect to Miss: What Illness Taught Me About the Everyday Annoyances

When someone you love is ill, everyone talks about the grief, the fear, the courage, and the love—but no one told me just how much I’d miss the things that used to annoy me.

It’s not something you think about in the moment. Back then, I’d roll my eyes when Mum asked me to make her a pint of squash for the third time that day or sigh dramatically when she told me to empty the dishwasher. But now? I’d give anything to hear her yell up the stairs at me one more time.

This post is about the everyday irritations that illness can turn into treasures—and how they might just be the things that stay with you the longest.

The Annoyance of Everyday

My mum had this uncanny ability to find chores for me at the exact moment I wanted to do absolutely nothing. “Harry, take the recycling out,” she’d call, just as I was settling down on my console or with my phone.

At the time, it felt like she had a sixth sense for ruining my relaxation. But as her illness progressed, those moments became fewer and farther between. Suddenly, I missed the sound of her voice asking me to do the smallest, most irritating tasks.

What I wouldn’t give now to hear her shout, “shut the door!” when I was already halfway upstairs after leaving the living room.

The Little Arguments

Like most families, we had our fair share of pointless arguments: which one of us should do which chores, who got control of the remote, whose turn it was to use the bathroom. They weren’t serious, and they didn’t matter—but they were ours.

When someone you love is ill, those pointless moments fade into the background. The conversations shift to treatments, doctors, and logistics, and suddenly you’d do anything to go back to the days when the biggest argument in your life was over the volume of the TV.

The Advice You Never Wanted

My mum had a habit of offering advice on absolutely everything. She’d confidently weigh in with opinions I didn’t ask for, about everything from girls at school to what kind of shoes I should buy.

At the time, it drove me up the wall. Now, I find myself wondering what she’d say when I’m facing a decision, no matter how small. Her advice wasn’t always wanted, but it was always hers—and I miss it.

The Way They Filled the Silence

Illness changes the energy in a home. Before, my mum’s presence was constant—singing along (badly) to the TV or radio, chatting on the phone, or reminding me (again) to tidy my room.

As she got sicker, the house got quieter, and I realized how much life she’d brought into every corner of it. Even the background noise I barely noticed at the time became something I missed deeply.

The Things That Made You Roll Your Eyes

When I was younger, I used to groan every time my mum asked for “just one more photo” of us together. She always wanted to capture every moment, no matter how small or mundane.

Now, those photos are some of my most treasured possessions. Every time I look at them, I’m reminded that the things we roll our eyes at today might just be the things we hold onto the hardest tomorrow.

Conclusion: Appreciate the Inconvenience

When someone you love is ill, it’s easy to focus on the big, life-altering moments. But the truth is, the little things—the annoyances, the arguments, the unwelcome advice—are just as important.

Illness has a way of making you see those everyday irritations for what they really are: signs of love, connection, and life shared together. So the next time someone you love does something that makes you roll your eyes, pause for a second. One day, you’ll really miss being so annoyed.